Releasing

Today I’m struck by the difficulty of what the Lord has called us to release.  The day we said goodbye to Seth, I told Marvin how difficult it was to let go of our children to the Lord.  I was still praying for a miracle, that I would walk into the NICU that morning to find a stable baby, but knew in my heart that our time with him was ending. 

I have been thinking about how the Lord always uses the releasing of our grip on the earthly to bring forth his fruit.  Yet it is so hard to release our grip, isn’t it.  It’s much easier to cling to what we can see, feel, taste, and know than to release and trust him for the unknown.

I have been so encouraged by the fact that even the Lord released his grip on his own son, and allowed the pain to set in.  He was silent and I think anyone who has lost someone close understands that silence.  There are no words sometimes, only pain.  Sometimes it’s the silence of sorrow that speaks the loudest to our hearts.

Yet it’s what happens after the fact that brings joy, healing and redemption.

I truly feel that I only learned what true joy was after losing Seth.  The things of this world became relative and joy became pure and felt deeper after such sorrow.  So as much as releasing is painful, this journey has been sweet, because it’s led me down a path that has brought redemption, and beauty and depth.   

While I wouldn’t choose this road, I’m thankful it chose me.