Monday, September 10, 2012

Entrusted with Hidden pain

As I’ve shared about Seth’s death with those around us women have opened up to me about their own loss of a child, even women who I’ve known for a long time. 

It’s a secret that is only entrusted to a few here, and that breaks my heart and at the same time I’m grateful to be trusted with their painful past.  Grief here is internal, tears not acceptable.  I can only imagine the struggle inwardly of so many women.  It’s been challenging for me to know how to enter into these conversations. 

One because of differing faiths, my faith is the only thing that has allowed me to stand with hope.  Being uncertain of salvation or even if God even exists is adds a whole different realm to comforting friends here.  It’s given me an opportunity to share that my God is the same today as before Seth died, and even though I don’t understand why, I am certain I’ll see him in heaven.

It’s been difficult because my tears have been an emotional release for me, and when I become emotional with friends here they immediately try to change the subject.  Recently I wanted to give a friend of mine a gift that has helped me, a necklace, and her husband said, only if it doesn’t make her cry.  She confided in me that the month after Seth died she cried every day.  It brought all of those stuffed emotions back to the surface. 

So while I am grieving, so many others are also grieving, only their journey is silent.  I long to know how to comfort and walk along side them.  Will you pray for me and them?

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