Saturday, September 01, 2007

Bed Rest

Bed Rest....well I'm not going too crazy yet, but I am counting down the days till my next outing, a doctor's appointment on Monday. In the times when I long to do something other than stare at the walls of the rooms that have become too familiar I remind myself of the task ahead. Keep our little guy put for the time being. It has been a pretty uneventful week, PTL. The doctor lowered my medication to 4 times a day instead of 6 and the last couple of hours before I take a new pill I have a few stronger contractions, but I am starting not even to notice them. I am not sure if that is a good or bad thing.

I have really enjoyed my time in the good book and feel fortunate to have this time to dig deeper and spend more time with our Father. I know moms of young children don't have the luxury of these lengthy times. I know I will look back on this time and feel so thankful for the things he taught me.

I knew it would be hard having others do things that I am used to doing such as cooking and cleaning. I have really been shown how prideful and stubborn I am through this whole ordeal. A few days into bed rest I was wrestling with this issue and I decided I was going to watch a DVD on our computer but I had to bring the computer into our room. I noticed Marvin had fallen asleep and instead of waking him I remember there was a card table that I could slide it to our room with ease. I opened it up in our room but then thought a better place for it would be near the outlet so I raised it up and pop, I nailed the light. Of course the shattering glass woke Marvin up and he wasn't too happy that I decided to set up my own "entertainment center" without his help. But he caringly told me "you have to let me do things for you." These words stuck to my heart.

As I sat there crying, it reminded me of the sin in my life and how so many times I try to do so much on my own. Now as I look at the empty light it has become an Ebenezer. My own "stone of hope", reminding me that I can't do it on my own, it's okay to cry out to Father with my fears and struggles regardless of how little they might seem to me and it has been a constant reminder of the strength only He can provide.

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