Wednesday, September 18, 2013

Respite Retreat

We are so thankful that we had the opportunity to go to a Respite Retreat.  It was a questionable trip, and the fact that my due date was moved up made us very nervous about going.  We decided to pack and leave after my doctor’s appointment on Thursday if he gave us the green light.  Marvin and I felt if he was still high and I had not progressed any farther we felt okay going.  Although I was still nervous, and I mapped out hospitals on our route, we left for the 12 hour trip.

We were so thankful that we were able to go.  It was such a blessing and gift to spend that time with others who also had lost children.  Plus it was also fun to go on a road trip with just Marvin, something we rarely get the chance to do.

As we got closer to Tennessee I started to get very nervous, mostly because I had no idea what was in store for us that weekend.  Nervous about the emotions the Lord was going to take us through that weekend, and nervous to maybe met with some unexpected grief, that might just knock me down again.  But it was so good.

Overall, it was so sweet to be in the company of others who know a little bit more of the pain of losing a child.  I should not be surprised how the Lord places people in our paths, and were so blessed to connect with several couples.  Each of our grief has been and is different but there is a common heart bond and understanding of the difficulty and pain that this road involves.  Many things others said over the weekend resonated with our hearts.

Nancy and David Guthrie are so sweet and the Lord has gifted them with the ability to help those who are grieving.  We were so blessed by them.  For me our weekend brought up a lot of how I still very much struggle with fear about our living children.  To be honest sometimes I let fear win.  It was so good to be reminded to talk back to those fears with the Word.  Yes I may lose another child, but your word says…..You are always with me.  Your love never fails, etc.

Another gift was that I was reminded to not make Seth into an idol and to be present in my living childrens' lives.  It’s a hard to put words with the emotional tug of missing your child so fiercely and also enjoying the ones the Lord is allowing you to hug.

Lastly it was so sweet to enter into a time of worship together.  To be able to sing words, proclaiming together our trust in him despite the roads he’s led us down, blessed my heart tremendously.  The body is pretty amazing.  I’m so thankful we got to go and I'm so thankful to David and Nancy's ministry.

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