his knees

Growing up my mom always visited the cemetery.  I always thought it was weird, sorry mom.

I always wondered what you did at a cemetery.

So I didn’t know what I would feel having to visit Seth’s grave.

But it’s been something I’ve really wanted to do.

I know he’s with Jesus now but that’s where his physical body is.

Again Angie Smith penned the words of my heart:

“I know Seth isn’t really in there;

It’s just that his knees are,

And I would have loved to kiss them after he fell. 

I need to mourn the loss of arms that cannot wrap around me here……

They are deep within the ground,

Never to be mine

And I need to feel that loss.”

I need to mourn the fact that I will never have the opportunity to cover his cheeks with kisses.

I will never have the opportunity to tickle his belly.

I will never have the opportunity to see him smile.

I will never know his eye color or be able to pick his laugh out in a crowd.

So being with his knees is incredibly comforting.

It will be hard having leaving the states on Monday for that reason.