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Tuesday, October 16, 2012

Just Be

While we’ve had a few comments that really got under our skin, from day one I’ve prayed that I would be a grace giver in those times of insensitivity.  Especially as we returned back home to Nineveh, which honestly is where we have received the most.

So how do you comfort the brokenhearted?  Before Seth died I wondered the same thing.  How do I love on those who have lost a child while I still have mine.  It's a hard place to be.  Thankfully the word gives us some instruction.

"Rejoice with those who rejoice and mourn with those who mourn."  –Romans 12:15

So pull up alongside them, grieve with them, pray for them, and cry with them.  Acknowledge the life the Lord created in their child.  Acknowledge the preciousness of their life. 

Say their child’s name.  It's sweet to hear Seth's name.  I'm thankful when others do, it lets me know that he hasn’t been forgotten by our friends.

And simply say I’m sorry.

Be okay with silence. 
Be okay with tears and settle into the uncomfortableness of the death of a child. 
Because that’s just what it is…uncomfortable.

Don’t try to explain it away,
..it was God’s will
..it wasn’t meant to be
..it was for the better

Because it wasn’t.  We live in a fallen world; this wasn’t God’s original plan.

Just be there. 
Bring meals. 
Clean. 
Wash their dishes. 
Give thoughtful gifts.
Keep calling.  
Don't forget that they are still grieving several months...years down the road.  
Ask good questions that go beyond "How are you doing?"
Let them know you are praying for them.
Give them you.

1 comment:

Wondering in Russia said...

Thanks for sharing and though I don't always know what to say or do, I'll be here if you ever need someone to "be" there with you! Lots of love and prayers!!